i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
