Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
high people should be assigned attendants
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
