This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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