Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He shit in the fireplace
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
