I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
