im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Houston, we have a blender
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
