Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
