UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
