do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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