i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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