I looked at my own cervix.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
