Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
