Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
