All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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