please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
