I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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