So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
