Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
