Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I need a burrito and a hug.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Damn victory sex feels great
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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