She said her name was "party"
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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