when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
your like the ambassador to my penis.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
