I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
