There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
