we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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