oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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