I cannot find my penis.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
