He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
