Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
