he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
