apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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