he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
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