the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
