I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
