Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
