So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
