doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
