so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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