break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
