Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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