I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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