oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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