He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
