i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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