Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
