my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
