just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
