I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
