white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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