"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
