I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
