i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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