That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
