i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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