I wanna bring you to show and tell
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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