Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
