Will you blow on my dice?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
